August 15, 2006

In the last week, two of my "phonesex regulars" have told me they're seeing people. I wanted to post a bit of a rant about it here. Then I realized that this blog's two year anniversary was here, and that a large handful of people have come and gone in mention, so I thought it might be an interesting exercise to round them all up and figure out what exactly happened to them, if anything.

The Liar: Never heard from him again- not that I expected to- other than the chance meeting in my office building a week or so later. I don't think he recognized me.

John: See Fox below

B: B and I still talk sometimes. He travels a great deal for work and is not online much. He's gone through some personal things which caused him to pull back for a while, but we talked three nights in a row a few weeks ago, and it was incredible- just like it always was, like there was no break- and so good to hear his voice again. I never realize how much I miss him until we find each other again.

Unnamed I: He and I actually dated for about 2 months. Not serious at all, but we saw each other quite a bit in those months. Work got busy for him and he didn't have time to come up and see me, so things just sort of trailed off. He tried a couple of booty calls in the following months, but I wasn't interested.

Lady, Leah, Aaron, Oliver, Troy, Chip, Justin, and Matt: Troy and I dated about 4 years ago, long before the night I mention. We still talk occasionally, but it's rare. He's invited me to parties since, one of which I attended earlier this year and wrote about. As for the rest, Lady and I IMed each other for a little while after, and occasionally I read her livejournal, but communication trailed off a long time ago. I had lunch with Matt a couple of months after the party, and decided that though hot, I wasn't all that interested in him. We would not have been a good match because I don't do intercourse, and he's not really okay with that. He was at the party earlier this year, and we kissed at Troy's house before we went to the club, but that was the extent of it. The others I never saw again.

Best Friend: Still my best friend, still a lesbian. Hopelessly in love with a straight married woman.

HP: One of my regulars, until... maybe May of this year? When he finished school this last sememster (he's getting his Master's) he got a mentorship for the summer and works abominable hours. We've spoken once this summer, maybe early July, I'm not sure. He told me he was going to Paris for six months to study, and that he was leaving in August. I texted him a few days ago and he replied the next day. He's been seeing someone, and she's going to Paris with him. I want to be happy for him, but I just can't be. He and I have been talking and having phonesex for years, and I'm not ready to give him up to someone else. I hate that, because it makes me feel like I'm being selfish. It's true that relationships like this are serve/serve and are by their very nature selfish, but still.

Unnamed II and Unnamed III: I summed it up pretty completely in the original post, she and I are still friends, he and I are not. I don't know what he and she might be to one another, but I don't think they speak much.

Fox: Fox and I dated for two months when I was 22, and again when I was 25. He was married both of those times, but his marriage was open. He has since gotten divorced and gotten serious with another woman, still in an open relationship. We haven't spoken in just over 5 years, and I think it is unlikely that we ever will again. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think about him, that I didn't want to be with him again, that I don't think about sleeping with him. Not that I would, I don't think. It would not be a healthy place for me to go back to, but that doesn't change the fact that he is the man who has had the most profound impact of anyone I've ever been with. He's also the only one with whom I was ever injured while being intimate, but that is a story for another post.

Chip: Chip is my friend, and that's all he'll ever be, seeing as the man is almost too gay to function. ;o)

Unnamed IV: There isn't much to say about him. He's rather unremarkable, which reminds me why I go so long between talking to him... long enough for me to forget that I don't like him.

I think that wraps up the men mentioned here. There are others who have managed to escape mention, but will probably appear here at some point: my mythical Greek, my indecisive master, my Jersey beach bum, and the jailbird. And that doesn't take into account the host of others I have yet to meet.

Bunny is the last one I will mention in this post, because although he never appeared previous to this post, he is mentioned in the earliest sentences of this one. We've been talking since I lived in my old apartment, so at least two and a half years. He's the silliest, the closest to crossing irrevocably into the friend zone, the cutest and most mushily romantic of them all. That wasn't always good in my book. He told me last week he has been seeing someone and that he thinks it's the real deal with her. For him, I can be happy. He actually told me about his new ladyfriend before HP told me about his. Bunny's doesn't bother me in the least, maybe because we were closer to friends already, and I'm just more ready to let him go than I am HP, I'm not sure.

So, I hope you've enjoyed this little journey of reminiscence (how the hell do you spell that anyway?), and rest assured, the sex is returning. There is nothing like having to renew your domain and hosting to make you tell yourself "dammit, you pay for this thing- use it!"

August 08, 2006

So, I talked to a guy last night that I've known for years. We rarely catch each other online because we have vastly different schedules. The fact that he lives two time zones away doesn't help with that whole scheduling thing. I was getting tired and bored of being online, but he still wanted to catch up, so he asked if he could call me. I said yes, but said "I'm not promising sex. In fact it is highly unlikely." I had mentioned earlier in our chat that I was "out of commission" so he knew why I was giving a preemptive no. What I didn't say was that his phonesex style really doesn't do it for me, and so I'm totally okay with not talking to him for long stretches. You just can't say that to someone.

So he called, and we chatted, and it got semi-late. Conversation gravitated, as it inevitably does in calls like this, until I teasingly forced him to admit that he was hard. He didn't want to tell me because he didn't want me to feel pressured into doing anything when I had already said no. I pointed out that what I had actually said was that I wasn't going to do anything. He was free to do whatever he wanted. He asked if I wanted to listen.

Yeah, that doesn't really do it for me either. I like to be an active participant, but, whatever. I didn't want to be a cocktease- I have a reputation to uphold you know. So I said "Sure." Problem is, he's reasonably silent. As I know I have mentioned before, you have to make noise, or there is nothing for the person on the other end of the phone but mostly dead air.

You know what happens when you have a phone full of dead air white noise in your ear, punctuated by the very occasional breathy sigh or moan, and you're already kinda tired? Yup. You doze off. Thank GOD I didn't doze off enough to start snoring. I kept catching myself and making myself stay awake. Not only that, but he wouldn't talk, and he didn't want me to talk- just listen. I feel kinda bad about it, but I started planning my day today, while inserting a few timely "mm-hmm"s and "yes baby"s in a few places.

He fininshed, we hung up, and I went to sleep. It was completely unremarkable, though he seemed to enjoy himself. If I didn't have an opposition to it, I bet I could make bank as a phone sex operator.